Her name is Maeve.
I’ve always told myself that her name is beautiful, and so does the weight of the memory she carries. She’s the starting point of the run, the first sandwich he has considered as his favorite, and the taste he will always look for in every restaurant — and perhaps, that was the reason why it’s hard for him to leave.
To think about it, blame doesn’t fit the picture. Maeve is something you can consider as close to everything, something so complete that no one can replicate. Aside from the beaut of her aspects, Maeve was the first person that made him feel things. She was more than just the first girl he found comfort in; She was the one who taught him how to feel, how to live, and became his lifeline whenever everything hit rough ways.
Because, Maeve was his sole warmth, and now she still is.
She is the one he could never forget even after meeting new people. She is the reflection he searches for in every eyes he has ever laid off, and the touchstone he returns to after wandering through crowds and new faces.
Maeve was the comfort his weary feet instinctively sought. Perhaps, that was the reason why she’s the easiest to reach out than me, because she is the familiar path his heart knows how to follow — the one he memorized like it is etched into his very being.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way mad at Maeve. Over time, through the countless conversations we’ve had about her, I’ve come to know her as well as he does. Maybe even to love her, just a little, in my own way. Who wouldn’t? She is Maeve. My eve or his. The first love — the one who came before everything else. And I am the placeholder — the appetizer before the dish. The one he reluctantly settles for because she’s no longer within his grasp.
Maeve and him was the war I fought and the battle I barely survived. She was the thought after every “I love yous” that ever slipped his tongue, and the voices he wished to hear upon “good nights.”
Because you see , Maeve is the first in everything and I couldn’t live an inch closer to that. I maybe the easiest person for him to whisper a “good bye”, but Maeve was the last tie he could never cut.
| 安迪.
